Mark Wahlberg has been hand selected by those chaps over at Atlas to play Nathan Drake in the upcoming Uncharted movie.
Not necessarily a terrible pick. Despite a somewhat questionable history, Marky Mark’s definitely not the worst actor in the world.
But we think we’ve found someone even better.
The lad’s name is Nolan North.
That’s this lad here, lying on a whole pile of Uncharted books.
Yup, Nolan North. You might have heard of him. He’s the guy who’s been paying the role of Nathan Drake in the Uncharted games for the past 8 years now. He’s the guy who actually created the Nathan Drake that we all know and love.
He basically is Nathan Drake, so it seems kinda weird that he wouldn’t play Nathan Drake in the upcoming movie about… ya know, Nathan Drake.
While we’re on the same subject let’s talk about the people writing the movie.
I’ll tell you who isn’t writing the movie: Amy Hennig. She’s the woman who wrote the games. She basically made Uncharted what it is today. And every critic in the world has said that she’s done an amazing job.
But she definitely won’t be writing the movie because…
Wait, why was it again?
“It’s all part of the Hollywood system,” says Nolan North.
Thanks Nolan, please continue. “They hired [Amy Hennig] as a “consultant”, a non-paid consultant. She is a better writer than that but she doesn’t have that Hollywood name. It’s the reason I can never play Nathan Drake. Because you put Mark Wahlberg in a movie, they have numbers on how many tickets he will sell in Europe. That’s what they do, they get their numbers for overseas, they know they are getting their investment back overseas. So now, everything domestic is all profit. It’s all money, it’s all it is. And I have talked with executives and they were like ‘we know you can do it’, but you know…”
I might not watch the final Uncharted movie. Instead I might just lie in bed an imagine what an Uncharted movie would have been like with the man who made the lead character and the woman who wrote the stories.