Super Amazing Wagon Adventure Review
I have to confess that when I saw the title to Super Amazing Wagon Adventures, I sighed. The title sounds so flipping boring. Who could possibly want to play a wagon game? Yuck. Sounds as dull as knitting, so I thought. Certain that this game would be dull and lifeless, I thought I’d try it for just a few minutes, just for a bit of a laugh.
Those minutes became hours and I began to scratch my chin, wondering just how it could be that I was enjoying such a boringly titled game. But I was enjoying it, I can’t deny that. I was enjoying it a lot.
Perhaps it’s the masochist in me that liked it, because Super Amazing Wagon Adventure is a game that will kick your ass. It’s not fair. It’s painfully unfair, it almost glorifies its own merciless existence. Random events happen with no forewarning and you lose health. There’s not really anything you can do about it. You might even start the game with one character terribly ill, their health being depleted. Oh sure, you might pick them up and survive for a short while, but eventually a wave of enemies is going to crop up and kill you. And there’s nothing you can do about it. You feel victimised, bullied by this cruel and unusual game.
Even if you play perfectly and make it to the end with full health, you’ll have to sacrifice a team member. Well, actually, that’s half true. You won’t have to sacrifice them if you collect 40 animal hides, but to do that you’ll have to have the sort of gameplay skill that makes GamesMaster himself look like a noob. Oftentimes you’ll shoot an animal only to have them be completely blown away as though you’d hit them with the Deathstar Super Canon. And when that happens you’ll be pissed, truly pissed.
And yet, if you’re like me, you’ll continue to play on even though you wouldn’t mind smashing your computer into a thousand pieces. There’s just something undeniably compelling about this game; and honestly, I don’t have a clue what it is.
Seriously, go and play this game and be amazed by the fact that it’s as annoying as hell and yet, at the same time, it’s compulsive. You don’t have a choice but to keep playing once you start.
So how do I wrap this review up? Super Amazing Wagon Adventure is a son of a bitch annoying game. . . but it’s also flipping AWESOME. Masochists will love it.
Disclaimer: Non-masochistic people may have a different experience.
Overall: F YOU out of 10 (which is 8 out of 10 in case you’re wondering).